He stops chewing. This is serious.
"Real quick. Before you go back to ruining your life
on purpose — are you actually enjoying this?"
He will remember your answer. (He will not.)
🔄
Turn your phone sideways
the town is wider than it is tall
(tap to play in portrait anyway)
[1-9] choose · [ESC] leave
💾 SAVE YOUR RUN → GET YOUR FOUNDER CARD
Drop your email and we'll send your shareable FOUNDER CARD — your day count, exits, collapses, and questionable bar decisions, immortalized.
The honest part: this game is made by the Optimus team. If you opt in, we may also send you genuinely valuable founder content — picked for you based on how you actually played (we saw what you struggled with 👀). No spam. Unsubscribe anytime. If that's not your thing, skip — the game stays free either way.
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📌 THE FOUNDER WALL
Behind the bar, between a signed dollar bill and a photo of the owner arm-wrestling a goat, hangs the FOUNDER WALL — real founders who played this game.
Pin your LinkedIn and you're one of them. In-game: +10 REP instantly, and the bartender starts introducing you to people.
The honest part: we're the Optimus team. If your profile checks out as a real founder, someone from our side may reach out in a few days with genuinely useful stuff — not a pitch avalanche. Unsubscribe/ignore anytime.